April 3 2006: Ben Folds, Chris Mills – Hutchins Concert Hall, Maine Center for the Arts, University of Maine, Orono ME

Got off work Sunday afternoon with no need to be back until Thursday. It was sunny, I was itching to do something and skip some classes, and the internet told me that Ben Folds was playing 300 miles away in a state I’d never been in before. No brainer.

Well, sort of a no brainer. It’s not like I’m a huge Ben Folds fan these days, but the nostalgia factor combined with the sun and the prospects of a free gig and some hitchhiking won out over whatever it was that has caused me to skip Folds’ shows for the last 3.5 years. And I used to be a huge fan of his, but the solo records just don’t cut it with me. I pretty much went to this show strictly to see the oldies, and the older the better, and pretty sure that I would be met head-on with mostly new material and a bunch of kids screaming and dancing to it, only to sit down and look confused during “The Last Polka.”

But what the hell, it’s sunny.

And it was still sunny Monday morning when I got up, bright and early, and hit the road. En route to Orono I was given a beer, a blowjob offer from a middle-aged trucker from Missouri, a coupon for a free frozen pizza from a frozen pizza salesman, a few puffs of the marijuana, and a ride from a bored (and boring) local cop. Good times. And as it was getting dark I was in Bangor ME on the interstate, five miles south of Orono, when a couple of students picked me up and asked if I liked Ben Folds. They were headed straight to the show.

Got a free ticket from someone who had an extra and went to sit down. The opener was competent, and then Folds gets up and starts in with “Give Judy My Notice,” which is off the last release of his I ever bought, an EP from a couple years ago. Then he played lots of new songs that I didn’t know and lots of songs from his first solo record, which the kids screamed for like I used to scream for “Uncle Walter.” The show was kind of cool, however, if only for the fact that I hadn’t seen Folds play with a trio since 1999, back when he was playing with that Trio of All Trios. And so tunes like “Army” and “One Angry Dwarf” were pretty cool to hear again with the full band. And they played “Theme from Dr. Pyser,” which satisfied my one simple hope that I see just one Five song I’d not seen live before. And then he didn’t close with “Song for the Dumped” – in fact, it wasn’t even played at all. Times have changed.

And on the way back home the next day this dude who delivers magazines to gas stations asks me if I like magazines. “uh, sure, I guess,” I respond, and he slides over a copy of Hustler for me. With free DVD featuring “three girls from the pages of Hustler in uncut hardcore scenes.” That shit totally makes up for all those people not picking me up and all the snow and wind and rain that replaced my sun.